Conversations
I haven’t tried talking anyone about my problem. It’s like everyone is busy dealing with my Dad’s 50th birthday and I dont want to ruin the fun. 
I’m just letting myself here, and by reading… deep inside, I gave up
I’m scared, I want to talk to my dad but I cant, I want to write letters but I cant… I’m loosing myself each day. and Im scared.
I’m such a coward
Maybe just the feeling, being the 4th kid and grew up not being close to anybody in the family, I’m used to them not understanding me, after high school, this is like the first time they knew something’s wrong with me. Remember the eyeglass story? It took them 18 years to believe my eyes are really bad. So I guess, I get used to it?
I’m trying, but I get buried in my fear, I dont know. I wish you were them
I dont trust anybody
When you’re emotions are piling up, you just need to it go.
May; there’s a lot of stuffs happened in May. I couldn’t say it’s a good month but I couldn’t say it was bad either. May is just… May.
I’m an anxious person and I’m pretty much fucked up since the last semester ended. I fucked up big time that I fucked up more and more each day, but no one mind, even me.
May, it started pretty roughly. When the roleplaying world did a pretty fine job consoling my lost soul, an unpredictable happened. I was not prepared and I died during the process.
I had my first lost in May. My great friend, whom I cherish a lot died, worst he didn’t said any goodbye. I thought he was doing well, I thought he will be well and come back but he didn’t. He didn’t said any goodbyes, he was gone.
Just like a flick of lighting.
May, my Dad came back home after his tiresome work. He’s fifty and it’s meant for a celebration and so we had. It was fun, memorable and enjoyable, but maybe it’s just me that was not completely happy. Guilt consumes me. every fucking single day, and I had no choice to but to show a wicked fake smile, but I did try to be happy.
Just like a clown.
May is almost ending, and it was never better or worst. I had mixed emotions of everything, sad, longing, scared, worried, love, happiness, trust, hope, all in one bottle, filling me up.
I guess…
When you’re emotions are piling up, you just need to it go.
But I can’t either cry or laugh.
❝The paradox of love is that to have it is to want to preserve it because it’s perfect in the moment but that preservation is impossible because the perfection is only ever an instant passed through. Love like travel is a series of moments that we immediately leave behind. Still we try to hold on and embalm against all evidence and common sense proclaiming our promises and plans. The more I loved him the more I felt hope. But hope acknowledges uncertainty and so I also felt my first premonitions of loss.❞
![[ Page 48 of 366 Page Journey ] - Apology](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzjgseqN4v1qzc64go1_1280.jpg)
![Page 47 of 366 Page Journey ] - Companion](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzhp19Eie71qzc64go1_1280.jpg)
![[ Page 46 of 366 Page Journey ] - Care Less](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzhnl4Ql721r7rw6ho1_1280.jpg)
화이팅!!
이것은 완벽하지않지만, 우리가 모두에게서 배울 바래요. ^^ 나는 포기하지 말아야 알아… 나는 강한 있어야합니다^^ 오늘이 안 좋은면, 아마도 내일이 좋죠ㅋ 내 안에 소망을~~~ 포기하지 않게 해!!! ㅋㅋ 화이팅!! 스릉흐
~
This is not perfect, but I hope we all learn from (this). ^^ I know I should not give up… I must be strong^^ if not good today, maybe tomorrow (will be) better. ㅋ
Hope in me ~ ~ Do not give up! ㅋ ㅋ Fighting! Seureungheu (Saranghae)
